Moving On After Breaking Up
This is a blog, not about love. Even though these days we are celebrating one of the most well-known festivals related to this feeling, I want to take the opportunity to focus on those of us who are somehow going through a breakup. The pain left by the breakup with someone we truly loved is difficult to handle.
Besides, accepting that this relationship to which we dedicated time, and feelings, and gave the best of ourselves weighs heavily and often generates a large void in our hearts, which we often want to fill quickly, avoiding what we already feel. I consider this a mistake, as we postpone something we should confront to find peace after a breakup.
Understanding the Emotional Journey
A little over a month ago, I faced a breakup, for which I thought I was prepared, but to my surprise, it wasn't so. Nothing happened as I imagined. I understood that every romantic breakup is different from that day on, and I started to see it that way because we don't give ourselves to all people in the same way. I have had breakups where I found peace, but in this last one, I went through a few dark days. Knowing firsthand how difficult it is to go through these kinds of situations, I want to share some things I did to overcome that difficult moment.
1. Feel the depth of your emotions
The first and most important thing is to acknowledge your emotions. It is completely normal to have many mixed emotions and identifying them is sometimes difficult. So, if it's easy for you to open up and talk to someone else, it can help a bit, or writing down everything you feel is a way to relieve yourself. Once you know your emotions, accept them, and don't try to deny or hide them, as in my personal experience, they become more overwhelming at a certain point.
2. Take care of yourself
It's important to consider that our physical state directly influences our emotions. Therefore, you should include exercise, good nutrition, and sleep in your routines. My psychologist told me that when experiencing anxiety that hinders me from doing things like sleeping or eating, I should think that avoiding doing anything won't resolve or change the situation I'm facing. This advice applies to all aspects of life, not just romantic ones. Continuing with habits, exercise releases endorphins* which help us regain our confidence, and have a better image of ourselves, which will help us deal with those moments when we lose confidence.
3. Activities that you genuinely enjoy
Similarly, it's no secret that, due to the absence of that person, we are going to have more free time, and this gives us space to overthink things. Therefore, look for activities that allow you to occupy those spaces and also help you grow as a person or activities that you genuinely enjoy. The idea is to find something that brings you happiness and fulfillment. For example, I resumed reading, something I had somewhat abandoned and started watching a series I liked.
4. Seek social support
Often, we stop seeing our friends and family with the same frequency. It's completely normal when you're in a relationship. At this point, I want you to focus on nurturing those bonds that often serve as support. However, personally, it's a bit complex for me to talk about my feelings with my loved ones, so I went to a psychologist. This is a process I've been doing long before the breakup. Still, I decided to rely on it to work on this aspect, something that was very helpful to me because feeling listened to by someone with a completely objective view allows us to have a broader perspective on things and allows me to reflect on some aspects that I overlook.
5. Reflect and find learning aspects
Contextualizing them in my blog, I made some comments on aspects I reflected on about my breakup. At this point, I want to invite you to reflect on what we experienced, what lessons this relationship leaves us with, and what aspects you will consider later for any future relationship. But it would help if you didn't focus only on romantic aspects; I want you to seek a more global vision and focus on yourself, to create space for dreaming, focusing, and working on all your goals. Working on yourself and your projects is the best cure for everything.
6. Prepare yourself to reunite with loneliness
Keep in mind that this is the time to meet loneliness, and I know it's difficult, but we can use these spaces to do things we enjoy. For example, I devoted more time to taking care of my hair, and my skin, preparing food that I truly enjoy, discovering restaurants, or opening a bottle of wine and relaxing. You can also allow yourself to start practicing meditation. Trust me, some good breathing exercises and controlling your mind and thoughts help a lot in any situation that arises.
Finding peace after a breakup summary
These are some of the things I've done to regain my peace. However, it's important to keep in mind that we all have completely different processes, and therefore, times vary. However, be clear that patience and tranquility are paramount. Give yourself time and remember that if you work on yourself and your projects, if you find an approach that allows you to develop, grow, and have results that contribute to you, you will be able to leave sorrows and sadness behind.
Q&A Section
Q: Is it normal to feel sad after a breakup?
A: Yes, feeling sadness post-breakup is a common and natural part of the healing process.
Q: How long does it take to move on after a breakup?
A: The timeline for moving on varies for each individual and is influenced by the nature of the relationship.
Q: Should I cut off contact with my ex after a breakup?
A: Establishing an initial distance is often recommended to facilitate the healing process.
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Writer
In this section, Cata shares her journey, weaving through the realms of creativity, self-discovery, and the pursuit of a balanced and fulfilling life. Join her as she delves into various aspects that shape my lifestyle and provides valuable advice to help you carve your path to success.
Insightful
Thank you for sharing such a personal message.